Ahhh the story of the MIL

I have had it. I love the woman because she raised my husband and he's an incredible man...but I think that's the only thing I like about her now. Here are a few (definitely not all) of the stories she's blessed me with.

My MIL and I always got along. I truly thought she was a nice lady, and I could never understand why my husband B would always tell me that she was crazy. Well... now I get it. My MIL was always really nice to me, and I thought we got along great. Then one Easter while B and I were dating I came to dinner at his parents house with him. She completely flipped out! She scolded B for not calling first, and asking if I could come over. And she didn't pull him aside and do this... no, she proceeded to have this talk with him in front of everyone. Talk about feeling unwelcome! Well, we eat and life goes on. A few weeks later MIL pulls me aside and tells me that I am ALWAYS welcome at her house, and that an invitation is never needed. Well she has a funny way of showing it, but hey maybe that was her way of apologising. I'll take it.

Well, my MIL had 4 boys...no girls. So when I come over I like to compliment her on the "girly" stuff that guys usually don't notice. So I compliment her new framed painting on the wall and her new choice of color she painted the family room, and maybe let her know that her table centerpiece is very nice. And I am being truthful, the woman has some good taste. A few weeks later B tells me that FIL talked to him at work and that MIL apparently thinks that every time I come over to their house I walk around looking for something to comment on. And that she feels like her house has to be in perfect order to have me come over. WOAH lady, I was simply complimenting you. Why the heck are you being defensive.
Hmmm what story next... OH yeah, well one year after B and I had gotten married we went over to the in-laws house for Thanksgiving dinner. I had been to the apple orchard recently and had made a few apple pies. B told me they were his dad's favorite, so I thought it would be nice of me to bring one to dinner. We walk in and MIL and FIL are in the kitchen I say hello to them and tell them I made FIL's favorite, an apple pie. (This pie was made from scratch folks, I am proud of the pie) We'll I don't notice anything wrong with that. But oh boy will this pie come to haunt me over the years. This pie will prove to be a dreadful mistake for the years to come. On more than one occasion MIL has brought up this pie and told me that I made FIL something but did not make her anything, and that her feelings were hurt. Are you serious? At first I honestly thought she was joking. I mean come on, over a pie??!!

Well last November B's little brother decided to move from Illinois to California. So we went over to the in-laws house to see him off. MIL must not be taking the fact that her son is leaving her very well because she proceeds to yell at me. She walks out of her house and I am holding my little peanut and she says to me " I dont think this is very appropriate." I have no idea what she is talking about. So I ask her what she is talking about. Now she tells me that "tonight I will get to hold my baby in my arms and her baby will be in California." I will admit it, the woman frightens me and intimidates me. I am not a confrontational person. I am now completely lost. her "baby" is 25 years old... my baby was 5 months...is she really comparing the situation. So B starts to see that there is commotion up by the house so he walks up and asks me whats wrong. I probably had the deer caught in the headlights look on my face. Well unfortunately for me the way I tend to deal with being yelled at and or confrontation is to cry. So I tell B I had no idea what was wrong and proceed to cry. Now B is furious... he knows his mom and he knows how she is. So he says that we are leaving. MIL walks in the house and locks the door. I realize I need to go get my diaper bag and purse soI walk in through the garage. MIL says in the meanest voice ever,"you bitch"... I say to her "I'm not a bitch and neither are you". (which I was proud of for not stooping to her level) I don't think she realized I was in the house and she says... I wasn't talking to you. Funny because I was the only other person in the entire house. I should have asked her if she was talking to one of the voices in her head. Then she talks for about 30 minutes about how I criticize her painting, I didnt bake her a pie, how she's the bitch and FIL is on a pedestal. She moves from one thing to another and really makes no sense. finally B comes in and tells her that until she see's someone for mental help we won't be coming over anymore. I was completely devastated at first. I didn't want him to give up his family. But he has told me over and over that he has been dealing with that for 32 years and that it's not me it's her. Now MIL and FIL are saying if we don't want to see them they don't think it's fair for us to keep their grandson away from them. ARE YOU SERIOUS! If they don't want to have a relationship with me... or even just be civil... why should I let them see their grandkid? Why should she get everything she wants which is only her grandson and not have to change anything. As much as I know how kids need their grandparents I was glad when B decided that no, she needs to get help first. What kind of parents would we be if we allowed her to see him when we truly felt she needs some therapy.

I have been doing research online and have decided that she has BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder. I feel a little sorry for her as she doesn't "believe" in mental health doctors. And as most people with any mental condition, doesn't think there is anything wrong with her. I hate that B hasn't talked to his parents in over 2 months, but he says it's for the best.

Over the years I always made excuses for her, like maybe I should have done this, or maybe she just had a bad day. But I have finally realized that there is nothing different I could do. I honestly didn't do anything wrong. That was a hard thing to accept. I still love her... I just wish she'd get help. She could be a really great person.